Feeling a little wookie lately?

Not feeling quite like yourself these days? 

During this strange season, some of us are on Over Drive- burning the midnight oil, getting lots done, taking on new projects and goals. Some of us are on Under Drive- hard to motivate, hard to concentrate, hard to stick with much of anything. Whatever the case, it can be hard to feel like yourself when the whole world is off tilt. Here are some pearls from Brené Browns new podcast Unlocking Us on Anxiety, Calm and Over/Under Functioning. 

Here’s the jist:

We have patterned ways of managing anxiety that come from our first families. Learned behaviors for dealing with fear and uncertainty. 

Over-functioners code of conduct:- “I won’t feel. I will do. I don’t need help. I help.”

Under-functioners code of conduct: “I won’t function. I fall apart. I don’t function. I need help.” Where do you fall in times of stress?  Here’s what can help: 

Recognize your pattern. Name it, own it. If you are over-functioning try to let your guard down and receive help. If you are under-functioning find ways to amplify your strengths and competence. 

Finding healthy ways to relax in the tension of life’s uncertainties right now is just one breath away. ❤️

Let it RAIN

RAIN is a mindfulness technique that can help us move through difficult emotions. Emotions are like energy-in-motion. They want to move and they want to move us. The problem is its easy to suppress, project or run away from hard feelings and this in turn can take us farther from ourselves and discerning what we really need. Take a moment to let it RAIN next time you have a hard feeling and see where it takes you: 
Start with a few deep breaths- 

R- recognize a strong emotion is present

A- allow it to be there- without judgment or getting lost in the story

I- investigate where it is in your body

N- non-identify- meaning take a step back from the feeling and ask, “what do I need?” 

❤️

Click video below-

Hope vs Expectation

There are so many dashed expectations right now- schools closed, trips canceled, traditions missed, rituals around weddings, funeral, births, anniversary’s suspended. This is hard on the heart, mind and body. 

If we were sitting together I would hand you a tattered copy of one of my favorite readings-

“Hope always admits its uncertainty. Expectation refuses to permit wondering or doubt, and so it is closed off, final and frozen. When expectation is not met, it dies. Sometimes, with grace, hope is born from the rubble of dashed expectations. Expectation is brittle...but hope is soft and willing to suffer pain. Hope is flexible, willing to change or even give up if need be..true hope is not at all passive. Its very flexibility allows hope to be alive and active in response to all situations.”

An excerpt on Expectaions and Hope by Gerald May from the Awakened Heart

As we grieve the rubble of dashed expectations, may we continue to hold Hope amidst uncertainty.

❤️

5, 3, 1

Mental Health is a Critical Public Health Need.

Here is a simple practice to try that can help grow the Health in mental for us all.

It’s called 5,3,1.

5- minutes of prayer or meditation a day. Sit upright, find your breath and set your timer. Spend 5 minutes bringing your attention to your breath or another anchor (word or image). Don’t worry about a racing mind- keep returning to your anchor.

3- write down 3 appreciations. Let your mind take in the good of 3 unique moments in your day where you felt satisfied, connected, safe or happy. There’s nothing too small. It all counts.

1- act of kindness. Maybe this one needs to be towards yourself today, or maybe someone else. Whatever the case generosity helps both the giver and the receiver.

We are at Risk. We are Resilient.

In the face of strong winds, let me be a blade of grass. In the face of strong walls, let me be a gale of wind.

Quaker proverb

Stress expert, Robert Sapolsky, draws this severe scientific conclusion in his extensive research on humans under pressure:

“The biggest predictor of mortality across the board for all infectious disease is the degree of social isolation versus social affiliation...Social isolation, then, is a major health-risk factor.”

Yikes! This is not good news for us in the Covid-Era. A health pandemic in the world, a crisis in communities. Covid or not, we are all at risk. He goes on to say— “if you feel like you have no control over what is going on- this is the worst form of psychological stress.”

It is important to know that crisis presents both a danger and an opportunity. In our personal lives and at home, we have to look at how to make the dangers smaller and opportunities larger. Research shows that those who cope with stress effectively seek control in the face of present stressors and don’t get swept away with things that are out of their control.

In the face of strong winds- the corona virus is a strong wind; Let me be a blade of grass- we have to be flexible to- bend with the wind and not get swept away. This is resilience and here are some ideas for weathering this storm:

• Routines and Rhythms- Creating new routines for yourself and your family can help reduce conflict in the home and give a sense of stability in this time of uncertainty. We might not know when its safe to stand close to people again- but we can know what time we eat, sleep and phone a friend.

• Boundaries- Boundaries protect well-being and are necessary to create quality connections with ourselves and others. Boundaries with work means we honor when we are off. Boundaries with family means we take into account not only the needs of others, but our own as well- these have to co-exist and not live in opposition.

• Transition- The work/school to home transition is now happening in a split-second. The first day I walked out of my newly formed home office and into the family room I was overwhelmed by the flood of needs- dinner needed to made, kids needed attention, the dog wanted exercise, school work needed checked. Micro-breaks can help with stress management and transitions. Small rituals like 5 deep breaths before you step out of the room, roll your shoulders back, stretching, turning a sign on your door to mark the end of the work day. 

• Stress- Understand that stress lives in the body. Pay attention to stress signals: stomach aches headaches, muscle tension, irritability, jaw clenching, difficulty concentrating or remembering things are just a few signs of stress. Relaxing the body, relaxes the mind. Exercise, stretching, dancing, playing outdoors and mindfulness are just a few ways to care for the mind and body. 

• Purpose- Find purpose in your day- this is protective for mental health. Size doesn’t matter. It could be to reach out to someone, learn to make something news, create- whatever it is- do something that has value to you.

• Hope- Holding hope helps us move through worried feelings. Sapolsky advises that even in the most stressful situations, let a small part of you prepare for the worst and a large part of you hope for the best.

I hope this is a help to you. More sound-byte on these topics can be found here:

Alaska News Nightly (around minute 12:30)
March 20, 2020
KTVA Chanel 11 Nightly News  
March 21, 2020